🕹️ LifesBattle

LifesBattle is a loosely Christian-themed loosely FPS-type game released by Hummer Software in 1998 using Pie in the Sky Software's 3DGCS, once reviewed by Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka in the early days of Something Awful .  A partial description of the title from an archived page of Hummer Software's website: "The Christian computer game that helps you grow "mighty" in spirit, build character, and have some fun and adventure along the way. The Christian computer game that teaches you important, universal Christian principles, including the principles of: Thankfulness -- being thankful for the way God made you Protection -- obeying those in authority over you Pure Conscience -- behaving responsibly toward others Suffering -- being sorrowful for the problems you have Yielding Rights -- giving your rights to God Moral Purity -- avoiding evil influences in your life Success -- following God's steps to a fruitful life You can be successful with LifesBattle TM by answering questions correctly and by following instructions given in Bible verses. Incorrect answers, in some cases, cause the player to go to "training" levels which take additional effort to complete. Success in LifesBattle TM also requires some fine motor skills." Unfortunately, the game fails on essentially every level.  It fails as a game because it is boring to a fault--it features virtually no interactivity of any kind, stripping the S from FPS by not even giving you a weapon.  It fails as a Christian teaching tool as its lessons all boiled down to the author's personal beliefs on the subject--there are many different sects of Christianity that don't all believe the same way, after all--or barely made sense at all.  It mostly boils down to looking at stock Pie in the Sky assets and clip art while walking through vaguely biblical mazes, with one notable exception where a particularly pious clip art horse gives you bible verses and demands you jump over fences with the corresponding bad aspect they reflect.  This section is particularly infuriating as half the verses don't seem like they correspond with any of the options, but you can't advance until you get the entire sequence right.  In my experience, the game ended when it forced me into the "Dark Bog of Bitterness," where I touched a clip art snake and the game immediately crashed to DOS.  All in all, really only of interest to the very religious or those determined to play every first person game out there. BATTLESH.ZIP is a zip containing a pre-installed copy of the game, ready to be run in either DOS or the DOS emulator of your choice.